


Make the World Go Away

by SaraHudson112



Category: Dunkirk (2017)
Genre: Angst, Collins is suffering, Frances is a little bitch, Happy Ending, Homophobia, M/M, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 04:23:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12449610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraHudson112/pseuds/SaraHudson112
Summary: Farrier is getting married, Collins can't handle it.





	Make the World Go Away

**Author's Note:**

> I will say that I regret writing this because seriously there's so much angst in this fucking fandom, that I don't know why I'm writing more angst instead of happy things. But I guess it is because I'm a sucker for pain and I'm an asshole. In my defense I was left unsupervised and I was listening the soundtrack for the movie Legend. By the way, I suggest to you to listen "Make the world go away" by Duffy which by the way inspired this fic. 
> 
> Theres another song in this fic that I quote, and if any of you find out which one is, I'll give that person a one.shot of this couple (Farrier/Collins obviously) about anything they want and by anything I mean anything. So...best of luck finding the song. A little clue: It is related to Collins (or more to Jack Lowden) from a character of a movie he recently did.

Farrier is getting married.

There’s nothing more painful in the world than knowing the person you love is getting married to another person when you didn’t even got the chance to say _I love you._

Collins knows too damn well that feeling as his lungs are no longer capable of holding air and his chest aches after one of his squad mates drops the bomb.

“Our leader Farrier is getting married!”

And honestly? Maybe Collins knew it all along, because as much as he hates to admit his mistakes, he also recognize it is a stupid thing to believe he had a chance against someone more beautiful, delicate and lovely as the hot chick Farrier choose. Not even in million years, maybe in another life, because even if the girl is not as lovely or delicate as she seems, she’s still a woman and Collins is still a man.

All his mates cheers and lift their cups full of tea or coffee and scream out loud how proud they are for their leader to finally settle down, while they have no idea Collins is dying inside as he runs aways for the hall feeling like his whole life is ended.

What about him? He asks himself when he finally reachs a place far away from prier eyes, crying his heart out in gasps and sobs that rip his soul more and more and more.

He understands, he knows…

He’s a man, he gets the idea of how wrong it is to love Farrier and desire him as he does, but he thought it was fine as long as Farrier wanted him too. Turns out that desire was only lust and a big pretty lie. _Too good to be true_. He remains himself.

The sun comes up when the morning arrives and Collins is not even aware that he spended the night in the roof, his cheeks are stained red as well as his nose and he can’t feel his fingers, not like he cares anyway. Is a mate who finds him sitting in a uncomfortable position.

“Collins, what the hell are you doing here mate?!” He exclaims and approachs him inmediately when the blonde doesn’t reply and gaves a pat in his back, frowning and worried for Collins who looks like a dead man.

“Hey mate… What’s going on with you?” Collins doesn’t say anything, he’s eyes are locked on the light of the sun and how cold it feels, even with the sun caressing his skin.

He’s taken to the infirmary and spends the morning there until he scapes right to the quarters. He needs to run and the urge in his chest to disappear increases as he reachs the building and walks up stairs to his room. His friend John approachs him.

“Collins! Hey, Collins! Mate Where have you been? Farrier is mad, he’s looking for you since yesterday noon!”

“I… I was sick…” He says, his voice is rough, his throat is sore for all the fucking crying he did.

“Oh, I see. Well mate, go see Farrier or he’s going to flipp, seriously, he’s like crazy”

“He should be, he’s getting married” Collins manages a fake smile and his friend laughs and nod.

“Yeah! He is, he is.”

His friend goes away and he goes back to his room and his next plan. He’s tired and he does all he wants to do in a couple of hours, taking looks everywhere he goes to keep himself away from Farrier as much as he can. Collins doesn’t feel brave enought to confront the man, and he’s a coward for running away, but he can’t bare the pain, he just can’t pretend he’s not breaking apart after the news.

The beautiful thing about dreams is that are just dreams, the bad thing of dreams is when you start believing in them.

Collis has a resign form in his hand when another friend finds him. Carter calls his names and pat his shoulder.

“Collins, here you are. Saints alive! You have to come with me now!”

“What’s going on?” He manages to ask, talking is painful, everything is painful, Collins can’t handle it.

“Farrier, man! He’s asking everyone for you and he’s mad like a bull, I don’t know what you did, but you better get your ass right now to him or he’s going to break something!”

Carter can see that something is wrong with Collins because he puts his hands on his shoulders and observes him.

“Mate, are you alright?”

“Yeah…” Collins holds air and says “Tell Farrier I’m going to see him in a minute, I need to get this paper done” He doesn’t show the resign form, but Carter looks pleased by the answer.

“Ok, let that be a minute, mate. Our leader is going nuts searching you.”

“Don’t mind him, is the excitement, he’s going to get married after all and he must be under pressure and all that” Again a fake smile that someone believes too easy.

“Aye… he’s getting married, who knew that could happen, huh?” Carter looks happier than he should “I’ll go talk him down, but really, you better don’t delay here much.”

“I won’t. I’ll be there in a minute.”

He’s again alone, and when he’s alone, he tends to think of the worst forms of disappearing, but he gets his mind straight and walk right to the office, his resign form signed and approved. He’s going away, easy, quickly, in silence. He doesn’t want the attention. He can’t bear to look at Farrier in the eyes just to find the cold hard truth. That he was only a toy, a doll Farrier used and then dumped.

Collins is at mere minutes of crossing the last door, with his duffel bag at his back, when he encounters in his way, the last person he wants to see. And no, is not Farrier.

Frances is a young lady who lives near the base, she’s petit, she has nice cheekbones and a beautiful smile, she’s kind and lovely and calls Farrier “My beautiful Farrier”, they way Collins calls Farrier in his mind everytime they were all alone sharing a moment. Collins is sure Frances will be a perfect wife that Farrier would be able to show off, and he know when he see her waiting for him in the entrance.

“Collins, dear. Such a surprise! Are you going somewhere?” She asks, her voice is sweet and Collins hates her.

“Frances, nice to see you” He wishes for his voice to sound normal “I’m afraid I don’t have time to stop long, I have a train to take.”

“Oh my dear, is everything alright?” She looks genuinely worried.

“I hope so, don’t worry.”

“I wish you could stay. You know the news right?” She have a bright smile in her lips and that only twists the knife in Collins heart.

“Ah yes, wonderful news, I’m sorry I won’t be here to celebrate”

“Such a shame, but it’s a deal already, my wedding with Farrier will be soon” Frances is not a cold bitch, Collins knows that, he can’t help but hate her for telling him just what he didn’t want to hear.

“Collins!” A shout of rage is heard in the hallway and Collins shivers, but doesn’t turn around.

“I’ve gotta go, Frances. Take care of him. He’s mad, but don’t mind him.” He’s suffering and Frances doesn’t seem to know, she only smiles and wave him good bye, a little confused because Farrier is walking down to them and he looks terribly mad, but even like that, Collins doesn’t turn around and keep walking away.

“Jack Edward Collins you stop right there!” He shouts out, but still, Collins doesn’t pay him attention and Farrier is only stop by Frances.

“He’s gone. Leave him alone.” She says, with a grin in her face.

“What did you told him?” Farrier grabs her by her shoulders.

“I’ve told him what he needed hear.” She cross her arms in her chest. “Now he’s not in the way anymore” Frances looks pleased, like she just won something.

“You told to my mates we are getting married, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“You have to make up your mind, Farrier, that faggot is not good for you as I am!” She screams, her beautiful features are now frowned, showing the cold and vengeful person she truly is.

“Get the hell away from us! This is the last time I warn you!” Farrier is not a bad person who shouts at women just because he likes it, but he hates Frances for what she did to Collins. In the short lapse of a day everything in his hands faded, and the worst part was when the secretary of the general officer told him Collins signed a resign form that morning with the excuse of having his mom sick and without anyone to take care of her. They gave him a temporal permission, but it was clear Collins wasn’t thinking on coming back, at least not at the same base.

Farrier finds Colllins in the train platform, sitting in a bench with his ticket in one hand and his heart is crushed when he sees Collins crying silently.

“Jack!” He shouts and Collins inmediately lift his head and finds Farrier running towards him. He has no force to get up to leave, he’s tired and broken, his blue eyes looks pale.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, his voice is soft and weak, Farrier embraces him in a tight hug and Collins wants to push him away, because it feels so wrong, it is so wrong.

“You stupid blonde, you don’t have idea how crazy I was looking for you.”

“If you’re here to apologise for something, I suggest that you keep your apologies for yourself. Go back to your beautiful soon to be wife and leave me the hell alone.”

“No, Jack. Listen! What that woman told you is bullshit!” Farrier clarifies the situation and holds Collins by his shoulders to be able to look at his eyes directly.

“Yeah, I know…”

“What?...” Farrier stutters with the next words “The-then…. Why you.. why you are going away?”

“Because you should marry her. You should be taking her to the near chappel and marry her by noon, so everyone will stop talking, you need a beautiful wife, a sweet lady at your side.”

“No!”

“Yes! Yes, Farrier, you need a woman at your side, not me! And you know? Even if I knew right away when I saw her, I also knew that we don’t have future… what are we even doing? What I’m doing to you? You are suppose to be a leader, my leader. You are a pilot, a soldier. We’re just that”

Collins tears were breaking Farrier inside, he doesn’t care about anything, not a single thing about what other people can say about them. It’s only them and that is the way it should be.

“ Are you nuts? What is wrong with you, Jack!? I don’t get it! I don’t get why you want to leave me.”

“It is the right thing to do, Farrier. I’m doing this for you!”

“No!” Farrier cups his cheeks in his hands and gives him a great big kiss, without caring about the other people around, they all could be damned. “Now you listen to me!” He says once he breaks the kiss “You are the love of my life. You are the only one I want to have by my side, you hear me?”

“But Farrier, I…” Collins is shivering, crying, his beautiful blue eyes are full of tears.

“No! I don’t want to hear your excuses. I love you, you love me. That’s the only thing that matters.” Farrier is so sure about his words, so full of truth, and it melts Collins’ heart.

“Farrier that is not enough…”

“It is enough. Is more than enough for me. In fact, I will take you to the nearest chappel and I’ll marry you, right now!” Farrier stands from where he’s been kneeling all this time and take Collins hands in his own to lift him from the bench.

“Are you crazy? What are you saying?” Collins is gobsmacked by Farrier attitude and suggestion.

“The only thing I know is that I’m crazy in love with you. I want to marry you, right now. Come with me. I don’t care what the world will say. I don’t give a single fuck I just want to marry you.”

“Tom, stop… stop please.” Collins is crying again, but Farrier kiss his cheeks and his lips over and over again till the younger is laughing softly and hugs him to hide the mess he is right now.

“Are those stupid ideas, of you leaving me, out of your mind now?” Farrier asks and he can hear Collins laugh softly, between his sobs. “Because I’m serious. Jack… I’m talking seriously, do you want to marry me?”

“But… what if…” Collins looks at him in the eyes. Green meets blue, and Farrier knows this is the mand he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

“Answer the question, my love. Do you want to marry me?”

And Collins knows, he knows too, just as he knows the world is against them, that he wants the same as Farrier.

“Yes…”

 


End file.
